My mom died very unexpectedly at the young age of 50. While she did have a will leaving everything to my father,
I don’t think she gave consideration to how that might affect her children in the future.
We were a very close-knit family while mom was still alive so it was a bit of a shock when my dad started
dating a woman within one month of my mom’s passing – he married this woman 4 months later. I don’t blame my
father for wanting to find a companion – after all, he and my mom were a very loving couple, best friends even
and losing her left a large void.
The problem came when after some time had passed, us children wanted to have a few of our mom’s personal items.
In particular, I wished to have one of her cake plates. You would think that something so simple wouldn’t be a
problem, but my father made me ask his new wife’s permission to take the plate. I can’t begin to tell you how
hurt that made me feel. It was my mom’s plate, not his new wife’s plate.
I know very well that had my mother still been alive, she would have just given the plate to me…probably without
even mentioning it to my dad as he wouldn’t have minded at all.
Quite often it is the little things, the personal possessions which have sentimental value, which cause so many
persons to argue after the death of a loved one. With a little planning and foresight, this situation would have
never taken place.
Who gets your “stuff”? Remember when dividing personal effect equally – a grandfather clock can’t be split 3
ways. Equal means equal in value. Be sure to be very clear in spelling out who gets what, or if you want to leave
the decision to the beneficiaries, give them detailed instructions on how to go about dividing everything.